marriage

this is the 2nd marriage for me & pete, needless to say we have some experience. of course, not all of it positive. we are as distinct as two people can be. i like to read and write, he likes movies with explosions, cars rolling over and lots of shooting. he also likes all the soccer he can watch. i like soccer too, but i have a team i follow. he follows soccer, all of it. i’ve had to break him from talking baby talk to my granddaughter. he only gave in when i told him the kids in her pre-school class would make fun of her. the family calls him the weakest link. we are all somewhat weak with her, but he’s the weakest. considering he’s a bull of a man, it’s hard to imagine she has him wrapped around her pinkie.

the best advice was from my mom. she said that a marriage is a union, a joint effort. she said that dos gueyes can’t pull a wagon if they’re going i different directions. i’ve always wondered if she was saying que somos gueyes.

we’ve been through it all. he’s not the greatest romanticist, but some days he comes in and tells me i’m pretty, even though i know i’m not. i’ve been close to death a few times, and he’s held me strong. i’ve cried to him in fear, despair and anger and he’s always there to remind me where i came from. he knew my folks towards the end of their lives, but recognized their strength. he knows i was raised to be strong. and i am.

he comes from strong people as well. he’s from the michoacan highlands. he left his parents & children to come to the US to work. he returned home a year later, dissolved his marital union and returned to the US. that was when we met. we were both out dancing. i saw this golden brown man with a smile that melted my knees. he has minimal schooling, i’m university educated. i know how to ride a bike, he was too poor to have one. i had a steady job, he never knew what he would do when the harvest would end. in the winter he takes work in the grape fields. in both his jobs he is known as one of the fastest workers. supervisors put new workers with him to learn from.lettuce harvesting is hard, but the grapevines are tough & dangerous. the vines are on wire leads. when pruning the vines, they have to pull the cut vine from the wire. he’s seen several eye injuries.

we are now facing another hurdle in our lives. immigration wants to deport him. he could face a 3 to 10 year ban because he entered “without inspection.” insulting because it sound like he’s a tomato. it would be so easy to move mexico to live, but my health prohibits it. leaving my kids & grandkids would kill me. we are readying ourselves for the immigration battle. this is one we will fight together. we’re both strong-willed people, stubborn to a fault. i married him legally sanctioned by the great state of california. i’m from L.A. we don’t stop.

i know this is love, he’s seen me at my physical worst, when my hair fell out (luckily it grew back), when i couldn’t bathe myself, when he had to work, clean, wash and cook for me as if i were a baby. he has my heart, now and forever. NO ONE will take him from me, that’s my word.

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